When I became a mother at the age of 17, I could have never predicted the effect the birth of my daughter would have on my own personal growth.
For many years after becoming a mother, I lived with a quiet, secret suffering.
I blamed this suffering on many things throughout the years: my weight, my stretch marks, my job, my relationship, my bank account, my age, even my kids. What I finally realized (with the help of endless mental despair) was that there would never be an end to the list of my problems.
At first, this realization sent me into a depression. I believed that I didn’t like being a mother. I was resentful that I had to “give up my life” in order to raise my children. I was jealous of my husband’s life: going to work every day, making money, eating out at lunch. So I tried going back to work, but then I was bitter about the laundry waiting for me at night, and filled with negativity when the school called saying my child was sick.
There were many great things in my life too, and I enjoyed many parts of my day…but deep down, in a secret place inside… I felt trapped in a life of suffering, and I could see no way out. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had a ton of Soul Work to do.
The love for my children was my catalyst for change. The thought of three beautiful, innocent babes having a mother that was not centered in love and peace brought tears to my eyes. Like a mama bear protecting her cubs, I set out to battle my own demons.
There was no “spontaneous awakening”, when one day all of my problems ceased to exist. Instead, I battled (and still battle) my demons little by little, day after day, like throwing a pebble at glass until it cracks.
This is where the practice of personal growth and evolution comes into play. We need to remain loyal students of life…because it’s life that wants us to grow. We can and need to grow both mentally and spiritually. Both are necessary, and one can’t fully happen without the other.
Today, I feel fulfilled and at peace in my life. I’m still doing my soul work, but I feel so incredibly lucky to bear witness to 3 young souls (the oldest in college!), as they move through this world. I feel an immense amount of compassion towards other mothers, especially mothers who are struggling emotionally.
Soul Work For Moms was born out of my pain, and is dedicated to the healing of mothers everywhere.
I humbly send these words out into the world, with the hope that it will be of service to someone else…maybe you.